Your Impressive Office Bottle – Part II (of II)

21 Oct

Let me start off by saying that this is a very hard post for me to write. I normally have a glass of scotch next to me while I tippety type away, but since I am probably growing bronchitis in my chest, I decided that maybe a drink tonight wasn’t the answer. *single tear*

So let’s get to it. You want to seriously IMPRESS the pants off of someone with a fancy schmancy bottle of scotch whisky. In this post, we are going to completely ignore all that is great about scotch for a moment–color, nose, body, taste, and finish–and completely empty your wallet on expensive-it-doesn’t-matter-how-it-tastes-because-you-empty-your-child’s-college-savings-fund-on-a-bottle-of-hooch.

Ardbeg Double-Barrel
Literally comes in
a gun case

The Ardbeg Double-Barrell$20,000 (BEFORE tax). I have no idea about this one. I know that it came from one of my favorite distilleries, but other than that, all you are getting out of me is the price, which is EXPENSIVE. It was bottled in 1974 according to the vintage amount on the Park Avenue Liquor Store’s website. You also get a few glasses with it in a crazy decorative case. Check it out.

If you want to impress me, you’ll have this on display when I come over to your house. You will also have one of the two bottles you get opened for me to taste. I will then give you a hug and tell you how awesome you obviously are. Then I will begin to question why in the world you decided to blow $20,000 on liquor. No liquor can possibly be worth that much money. Unless it was a historic stash from someone historic’s liquor chest buried at sea. That may logically drive up the price.

Black Bowmore

Next on the ridick list is the now infamous Black Bowmore. I have actually seen articles about this one and it is supposed to be amazing… even to drink. From what research I can find, it seems to be 31 years of age and super tasty. It also costs about $7,500. That is one hell of a write-off if you are buying for business purposes!

You can also see that it has a really interesting vintage look to it as well. The box looks like someone had their serf run back to the village and put together a proper vessel for which to transport such a fine spirit! I’m not going to lie… this one is one that I would probably be willing to spend $200 on one glass of just to try it.

The Macallan Lalique

Last, but most definitely not LEAST, is The Macallan Lalique. I had not even heard of this one until I started looking up insanely priced scotch whisky for this posting. Evidently, this one comes in a few different ages and bottles. They seem to be around 50 years of age and literally perfect. They better be for a price of $19,000 or more. I somehow doubt that you would ever drink it. Maybe if I was a hip-hop star, I would buy a bottle to pour out in front of a crowd of on-lookers who would have to do a web search to find out what I was pouring out. Oh, but would they be impressed!

The Macallan Lalique
Box and Satin Casing

I have to say, the bottle is quite elegant. The box/satin touch to the already eccentric bottle is quite breath taking. This bottle would also be a marriage taker if I were to ever bring one home. Especially now that I’ve announced to the world how expensive it is. Calm down, honey, I won’t drop 20 Gs on a liquor… Is she not looking? GRAB IT! YOINK!

The Macallan Lalique
You can’t even afford to insure it.

Have you made your decision yet?


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